fucking feelings
Saturday, November 22, 2008 / 9:56 PM
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK? MY IPOD IS NOT WORKING?! SHITS! HOW CAN I LIVE WITHOUT IT TOO?! MY IPOD IS WAY SO MUCH IMPORTANT THAN MY HANDPHONE.
I DON'T CARE IF MY HANDPHONE IS DAMAGED OR CANNOT BE USED BUT NOT MY IPOD! ITS THE ONLY PLACE WHERE I EXPRESS MY FEELINGS! FEELING SO FUCKED UP,SHITS! NOW I CAN ONLY LISTEN TO MUSIC WHEN I USED THE COMPUTER BUT HELL. I NEED MY IPOD EVERYWHERE! FUCKSHITS! AHHHHHH! ITS MY WORST DAY EVER FUCKERS! SHITS. BULLSHITS.
*taking a deep breathe and let it out slowly...*
I can't hold on to my tears. I just cry in the bathroom silently before even bathing. I sat on the toilet bowl and cried. I wiped my tears and have a shower. When i came out and went to my room, I continued crying. What am i crying for?
I JUST MISS ANJE SO MUCH! FUCKING MUCH!
I looked at the spots where she always sleeps at, where she usually hide from me while playing hide and seek with me. I couldn't help it but to cry. Before bathing, my papa even said that it was lonely without Anje. The house didn't feel so alive. No more hearing me shouting, "Anje! No! Tkmo panjat pat tingkap lah! Nnt jatuh camne???" No more of me calling Anje inside the house,
"Anjeeee,masuk cepat.. Tkmo merayap pat luar.." No more of Anje being so manja to me when she want her food to be served. No more of me playing hide and seek with her. No more of me chasing her from living room to my bedroom cause we were playing catching. No more of me scarring Anje and made her jump out of shock. No more of Anje making me terperanjat cause she was waiting for the time to attack me. No more of her crawling at my bed to sleep with me.
No more of her hiding under the blankets. No more of Anje calling me, wanting to play with me.
NO MORE OF ALL THAT.
and its not been a year we have her. I need her back home now. Not even mama cared about my feelings. I need a cat but mama objected. She didn't see the important of me having a pet. A pet that i can rely to. A pet that i can pour everythg out. A pet that i can have as a playmate. A pet that can listen and not talk back at me and agrees with everythg i do.
I need to get over this. argggh~
I can't hold on to my tears. I just cry in the bathroom silently before even bathing. I sat on the toilet bowl and cried. I wiped my tears and have a shower. When i came out and went to my room, I continued crying. What am i crying for?
I JUST MISS ANJE SO MUCH! FUCKING MUCH!
I looked at the spots where she always sleeps at, where she usually hide from me while playing hide and seek with me. I couldn't help it but to cry. Before bathing, my papa even said that it was lonely without Anje. The house didn't feel so alive. No more hearing me shouting, "Anje! No! Tkmo panjat pat tingkap lah! Nnt jatuh camne???" No more of me calling Anje inside the house,
"Anjeeee,masuk cepat.. Tkmo merayap pat luar.." No more of Anje being so manja to me when she want her food to be served. No more of me playing hide and seek with her. No more of me chasing her from living room to my bedroom cause we were playing catching. No more of me scarring Anje and made her jump out of shock. No more of Anje making me terperanjat cause she was waiting for the time to attack me. No more of her crawling at my bed to sleep with me.
No more of her hiding under the blankets. No more of Anje calling me, wanting to play with me.
NO MORE OF ALL THAT.
and its not been a year we have her. I need her back home now. Not even mama cared about my feelings. I need a cat but mama objected. She didn't see the important of me having a pet. A pet that i can rely to. A pet that i can pour everythg out. A pet that i can have as a playmate. A pet that can listen and not talk back at me and agrees with everythg i do.
I need to get over this. argggh~
Maybe i need to go at this kind of place. I need to have a breather. I need a place where i can think straight and not dwell on anything. I need a quiet place. I need my ipod. I need my baby.argh. yesterday night, as i was on my way home with my brother and mama from religious class, i saw this two cats from far. As it was near the place where we left Anje, i headed to the cats. Hoping that it is Anje. I walked as fast as i could so that i won't lose them. But as i was near the cats, i realised it wasn't Anje. It just looked like Anje. I was disappointed. I just thought of bringing Anje home if i found her. But i didn't.
And now, when i can't even have a cat, i won't enjoy this holiday. For my ipod, i don't know what to do. ANYONE HAVE ANY SHOPS TO RECOMMEND FOR REPAIRING IPOD? argh. I think i should just buy a new one but my brother said depend on my results. Like what the hell sia results? Confirm no chance at all for me to have a new ipod. Gawd.
hopefully, when i watched Taufik Batisah at Suntec tomorrow, i'll be much better.
Labels: ipod is gone and so is anje
